Hey! Captain “Fuck Your Gummies” Hoodie

Our Hoodies go with EVERYTHING!  So soft you’ll wonder why everything isn’t cut from our cloth!  Only 50 are available before we change the design–grab em while you can!

Unopened Product Returns (Case-by-Case)

Unopened, unused products may be eligible for return if:

• Requested within 7 days of delivery

• In original, sealed condition

• Approved in writing by our support team

Customer is responsible for return shipping costs.

A 15–25% restocking fee may apply.

Refund Processing

Approved refunds are processed within 5–10 business days to the original payment method.

Shipping costs are non-refundable unless the error was ours.

Chargebacks & Fraud

We reserve the right to dispute fraudulent chargebacks.
Accounts associated with abuse may be restricted from future purchases.

Order Processing

All orders are processed within 1–3 business days (Monday–Friday, excluding holidays).
Orders placed after 2:00 PM EST may be processed the following business day.

During product launches, promotions, or high-volume periods, processing times may extend slightly.

Shipping Methods & Delivery Times

We currently ship via:

• USPS

• UPS

• FedEx (when applicable)

Estimated delivery time after shipment:

• Standard Shipping: 2–5 business days

• Expedited Shipping: 1–3 business days (if selected at checkout)

Delivery times are estimates and not guaranteed.

 

Incorrect Address / Failed Delivery

Customers are responsible for providing accurate shipping information.

If a package is returned due to:

• Incorrect address

• Refusal of delivery

• Failure to retrieve package

The customer will be responsible for reshipping fees.

 

Care Instructions (Because We Believe in Tough Attitudes, Not Tough Laundry):
• Wash inside out—protect the print like it’s the last edible in the bag.
• Cold wash only. Hot water is for spaghetti, not your apparel.
• Dry delicate or hang it up. Treat it gently; it bites back if you don’t.